The Power of Naming: Dispelling Fears with Befriending
Art by Stefan Keller from Pixabay
Please note that the following text contains Harry Potter, Moana, and Rumpelstiltskin spoilers.
Understanding the Connection Between Language, Fear, and the Brain
In myths and stories, knowing the true name of an antagonist would lessen its grip on you. In fact, it was the surest way to gain power over it. By knowing its name, you would be able to summon it and banish it. With one word, you would dominate over something of extraordinary power.
How fitting is it that the oral word – our ability to speak – is one of the first things we lose when we feel powerless, helpless, frozen, motionless, and overwhelmed? In other words, when we are in a threat state or trauma response.
Indeed, the area of our brain that produces speech is called Broca’s area. When we struggle with painful situations or are under threat, this part of the brain functions differently and inhibits our ability to describe our experiences in meaning-making ways.
In those moments, when we look into our innermost fears, our brain may want to shield us from the trauma – our heart rate increases, our discomfort is felt in our bodies, and our numbness may resurface, yet our words fail us.
How Myths and Storytelling Illustrate the Importance of Speaking Truth and Naming Fears
Let’s get back to myths and storytelling for a moment. I’m a huge Harry Potter fan. In those books, especially in the first few, there is a paralyzing fear around mentioning Voldemort by name. Instead, he is referred to as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, which gives him, even more stature and power. Yet, Harry calls him by his name to refuse Voldemort any control over him.
Another beautiful illustration of the power of naming is in the movie Moana. Our heroine, Moana, embraces Te Kā, the main antagonist, and calls her by her real name. Specifically, Moana tells Te Kā, “I have crossed the horizon to find you. I know your name. They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you. This is not who you are. You know who you are.” This act allows Te Kā to integrate her shadow, accept her parts that are in sorrow and pain, and rediscover her inner core, her Self. She transmutes from an erupting volcanic creature as the Creatrix Te Fiti, Mother Earth.
In the classic fairy tale of "Rumpelstiltskin," a miller's daughter is tasked with spinning straw into gold or else face dire consequences. A strange little man appears and offers to spin the straw into gold in exchange for something of great value. The miller's daughter agrees, and the little man helps her for three nights in a row, each time demanding a higher price. Finally, on the third night, the little man demands the miller's daughter's firstborn child in exchange for spinning the straw into gold.
Desperate to keep her child, the miller's daughter begs the little man to spare her. He agrees, but only if she can guess his name. After many failed attempts, the miller's daughter overhears the little man singing a song that reveals his true name: Rumpelstiltskin. She uses this knowledge to defeat him and keep her child.
The power of knowing Rumpelstiltskin's name lies in the fact that it gives the protagonist control over the antagonist. In the story, Rumpelstiltskin is depicted as a powerful and mysterious figure who holds all the cards. But once his name is revealed, he loses his power and is defeated by the miller's daughter.
Embracing Our Fears and Antagonists with Understanding and Befriending
Knowing someone's true name is a symbol of intimacy and understanding, and it allows the protagonist to gain power over the antagonist by demystifying them and reducing their perceived threat. The stories of Harry Potter, Moana, and Rumpelstiltskin can be interpreted as a metaphor for the power of knowledge and the importance of understanding our fears and antagonists - internal or external. By embracing and deeply understanding our fears, we can reduce their hold on us and gain greater control over our lives.
We all have parts that want to stay hidden, and for good reasons. For example, we don’t want to show our vulnerability because of fear of criticism, rejection, disappointment, and disappointment. Yet, we can go a long way toward disempowering our fears by naming these parts, befriending them, being in dialogue with them, and understanding their true purpose and nature. Their grip will lessen. Their controlling nature will loosen. Indeed, most of these parts are exhausted from being overworked in their quests to protect us from further sorrow and disappointment. They could use a break. And what they truly need is a home.
Food for thought:
What parts are most present for you right now?
Gently ask them what they need. Then, if possible, just listen.
Once we understand how these parts are trying to protect us, we can name them, hear them, and appreciate them for what they do. Ultimately, that will open up space for our authentic Self to re-emerge.
Warmly,
Anny
Kindly note: The information included in this blog is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for mental health services. Please consult with a qualified professional to determine the appropriateness of the information for your own life experiences or if you have any questions.
